


Smile

by Alcaletre



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Boys Love - Freeform, M/M, stray kids - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-07 01:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15207731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcaletre/pseuds/Alcaletre
Summary: Hyunjin only wants Jeongin.





	1. A Wishful Longing.

**-1-**

 

The sunset clouds were adorned with a beautiful orange when I was still in the classroom doing my last duties of the day. This was much harder than I thought. Mathematics was definitely not my forte, but I did not suffer for it, the exercises were already being solved.

 

Carefully, I looked up from the book and he was there. Reading a small hand book while waiting for me to finish.

 

Jeongin had one of those big smiles, his eyebrows looked relaxed and those little pink lips that he had, showed a sign of confusion when he did not understand something and then return to form a smile.

 

-Hmm?- Jeongin muttered looking up from his book so I quickly went back to my exercises. The blush rising up my face-

 

-I'm almost done -I said, preventing him from seeing my red cheeks-

 

Jeongin went back to his reading. I lifted my gaze from the book again and took one last look at his smile before continuing the exercise. Only a few minutes were enough and when I finally finished it, I handed him the book waiting for his answer.

 

-Alringht, let’s see… -Jeongin said with a pencil on his hand- Cool -he exclaimed after a few minutes with a smile- You got them all right!!

 

-T-Thanks... -I answered shamefully scratching the back of my neck-

 

-Come on, you should be happier about this... -Jeongin handed me back the book and then leaned on his arm- You're really not the smiling type, huh?

 

His smile was so pretty that I looked away so he would not notice my red cheeks.

 

-There's no reason to smile... -I answered crossing my arms and frowning- ...And this is my default expression. Deal with It.

 

\- You’d be popular if you just smiled more often. -He answered, now with that tone of security that characterized him-

 

-I don’t want to be popular anyway! -I got angry, I could almost feel the smoke coming out of my ears-

 

-It’ll be hard for you to make more friends too!

 

The usual subject was back on the table and I knew he would not leave it. Lately, he insisted that I should try to get new friends. As if he no longer wanted me to be with him.

 

-It doesn’t matter, you’re good enough for me -I said, putting all my stuff back in my backpack-

 

-There you go again -He answered, taking his things too and frowned a few seconds-

 

-by the way, aren't you busy with the student council? -I mentioned, changing the subject and again one of those smiles adorned his face-

 

-haha, it's not as busy as you might think… -He answered laughing- …How about basketball practice? It is okay for you to skip it?

 

-Captain made an exception for me. -I said proud-  I don't need  to show up at practice all the time.

 

-wow, you just must be really good to have earned  that exception.

 

When our eyes met, his eyes had a glow that turned my face into a tomato. I turned my face in another direction and watched the sunset decorate the sky, it was already getting dark and we had to go home.

 

-Hmm... It's getting late, let's go home.

 

I heard him say and his eyes were in the evening too.

 

-Okay.

 

We started to leave my classroom and Jeongin was in front of me with his backpack over his shoulder, the lights of most of the hallways of the school were still off and only the sunset light guided us.

 

-Oh Yeah! -Exclaimed Jeongin as if he had remembered something important- My mum asked if you want to come over for dinner tonight?

 

-oh, sure.

 

He asked with one of those smile, how could I say no?

 

-To be honest, we really don't mind if you live together with us. -He said changing his expression- It must be tough living on your own.

 

-It's okay, I shouldn't trouble your family anymore than I already have -I answered looking at the hallway in front of us- Your family has been a great help to me since the accident.  I want to be able to take care of myself, so that my parents will be at ease-

 

-Hyunjin.

 

Jeongin exclaimed and I turned to see him, his hands went straight to my cheeks and held me tightly.

 

-What are you doing? -I asked confused, feeling the heat rise up my face-

 

-As I expected. -His hands pulled my cheeks forcing my lips to form a smile- You look better with a smile! Don't overthink things, just smile!

 

As I could, I hid my embarrassed face and sighed many times until my skin returned to its original color.

 

-Okay Okay... I got it, just don't do that again… Geez...

 

-HEHE. Looks like I found another weakness of yours -He said laughing and I turned my gaze away-

 

This was totally shameful.

 

Finally we arrived at the exit of the school and while I changed my shoes in the locker, I just kept on talking with Jeongin.

 

-I don't get why do you like to smile so much? -I asked laughing and I heard him sigh-

 

-And why don't you like to smile at all?~~

 

Jeongin really was a master in his attacks of facts. Everything was silent for a few seconds and when I finished changing my shoes, I walked beside him only to find a large pink envelope with a gigantic heart at the top of his locker. Jeongin was static and his cheeks were completely red.

 

-Ah... -I said approaching-

 

-This is…? -he murmured-

 

-A love letter... -I answered by finishing his words-

 

-WHAT!!?? -he exclaimed shaking and I tried to take the envelope but he snatched it from my hands- Wait! I'm not ready for this...!

 

-Ah... -I felt the jealousy rising inside me- Well, good for you! -I said with a slightly strong tone, leaning back in the locker on the other side of the hall-

 

-Eh? -Jeongin looked at me holding the envelope in his hands- What’s wrong?

 

-Nothing. -I said crossing my arms- Can we go? I'm hungry.

 

-But someone here is cleary sulking. - He said laughing- Ha, could it be... Hyunjin... are you... jealous?

 

Jeongin finally asked and I felt the blush rise to my face. And before he noticed it, I started walking without saying anything.

 

A few seconds later Jeongin started walking behind me too.

 

-Well, it could be some kind of misunderstanding. -I heard him say to my back- This might not even be a love letter! Besides, you're handsome! I'm sure you'll get one sooner or later.

 

-that's not what's bothering me... -I said to myself-

 

-Eh? Did you say something? -He asked approaching and I looked away again-

 

-Nope, nothing.

 

-Come on, let's just go home for now.

 

Jeongin replied, putting his hand on my shoulder.

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

At Jeongin's house a banquet was waiting for us, as his mother always cooked excessively whenever she decided to invite me to dinner and today was no exception. I took a large bowl of rice and began to enjoy the dishes. Jeongin was by my side eating more slowly while his mother and father ate in front of us with a smile, this feeling of a family was strange but I liked it and it made me feel melancholic at the same time.

 

-You two! Eat as much as you can, okay? -Jeongin's mother asked at the time that ended a conversation she had with her husband-

 

-You cooked too much again, mom! -Jeongin complained and his mother pointed at him with chopsticks-

 

-No at all! We got two growing boys here! -She answered looking at me now- Here! Hyunjin eats more! -Said now offering me another bowl of rice-

 

-T-Thank you. -I answered shy, taking the rice bowl-

 

-Hyunjin, you're so tall now! -Exclaimed Jeongin's mother again- You used to be so small then.

 

-Hmm, it's probably because I joined the basketball club. -I answered taking a bite of food-

 

-Hyunjin is the team ace.-Jeongin mentioned smiling and his parents were surprised-

 

-Oh, wow! For real? You must be very popular with the girls!

 

I did not understand why all parents associated sports with popularity with women, but I definitely was not the case.

 

-No, not really. -I answered taking a new bite-

 

-Oh then, is there someone you like?

 

-Um… -I muttered in embarrassment, beginning to feel anxious-

 

-Don’t be shy! -Exclaimed Jeongin's mother with a smile- It is normal to be in love with someone at your age.

 

-Give him a break, mom! -Instated Jeongin- Don’t be such a busybody.

 

-Eh, was I? -Jeongin's mother asked and then both started talking about another topic-

 

My gaze stayed in his profile for a while, it seemed that Jeongin had not yet realized... But even so, I could not rid myself of this anxiety that was growing inside me.

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

The night finally fell and now we were both lying on his bed. Jeongin's mother never stopped insisting that I should stay the night until I finally accept.

 

Jeongin was on the other side of the bed and a barrier of pillows separated us, everything had been my idea, and although at the beginning Jeongin complained that it was silly, in the end he ended up accepting.

 

The theme of the letter kept hovering in my mind when I tried to sleep, jealousy consumed me and would not let me rest, I thought about it many times, but in the end, I could only know what he planned to do in one way, asking.

 

-Hey... Jeongin. -I called it, it was already late-

 

-Hmm? -I heard him answer and I sighed before asking-

 

-What are you going to do with the letter? -I asked, looking at the wooden ceiling waiting for an answer-

 

-Of course I have to answer it... -My heart stirred and the jealousy inside me grew, I felt disappointed-

 

\- Will it be a yes or a no? -I asked, settling on the bed until I was facing the pillows-

 

-... -Several minutes passed and his answer never arrived-

 

I thought about it for another few minutes and finally sat down to see the other side of the barrier. Jeongin seemed asleep and his sheet only covered him to his abs.

 

-Jeongin? -I asked, approaching only a little and he did not answer-

 

-Are you asleep? -I asked, now getting a little closer-

 

I had never been so close to Jeongin's facial features and some need to kiss him woke up in my being. Carefully I raised my hand without making many movements and touched his face. First his lips, then his cheeks and finally his eyebrows. My body started to get hot and I felt the sweat beginning to slide down my forehead and my back, I got closer and closer and when I was about to kiss Jeongin, his brow furrowed in what seemed to be a dream, scaring me.

 

I quickly withdrew and returned to my side of the bed.

 

What am I doing?... I asked myself as one of my hands rested on my chest feeling my heart racing.

 

...That was... Creepy...

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

A new school day, it was lunchtime and I sneaked up on Jeongin until he finally stopped in front of one of the big academy trees and a very pretty girl of a higher grade was waiting for him with his eyes on the ground, she looked nervous.

 

-Are you the girl who wrote this letter? -Jeongin asked when he saw her, he also seemed nervous-

 

-Yes ... -Said the girl, with her fingers playing with the hem of her skirt-

 

Jeongin remained silent for a few minutes and the anxiety grew inside me again, if he accepted that girl's statement my heart would break into a thousand pieces.

 

-I'm flattered that you wrote me a letter, but I can not go out with you. -I heard him say and a big sigh came out of my mouth, drawing the attention of both. Then, both returned to their conversation-

 

-... Can I know why? -The girl asked, finally raising her face-

 

-Um... It's due...

 

-I'm missing something...? -The girl asked, with tears on her face and Jeongin looked a little sad- I can change for you.

 

-No, you're not the problem... -He said looking around until he dropped a bomb that I was not expecting- In fact, I'm dating someone else right now.

 

My breathing was cut and I fell to the floor, definitely my heart had just been broken. I spent a few minutes in shock until I could hear his words again.

 

-I'm sorry, she is from another school so I did not tell anyone.

 

-Oh I see... -Said the girl, wiping some tears from her eyes. I also cleaned some that I did not know I had either-

 

-Again, I'm very sorry. -Jeongin muttered turning around-

 

-No, it's okay... -the girl answered, before running away-

 

I stayed on the ground and saw Jeongin leave. My tears began to fall while I tried to contain them, but everything was in vain, they did not stop. I was his best friend but he had not even told me something as important as that, all these years my feelings growing for him and he already had a person in his life.

 

I felt betrayed.

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

I was in my classroom and the sunset was again adorning the orange sky, strangely it no longer looked beautiful as before. All my classmates had finally left and I was alone, Jeongin did not arrive at our tutoring time.

 

I did not find it strange that he was missing, if he had a girlfriend it was normal that he wanted to go to her academy for her, but the anger grew in my chest anyway.

 

When the sun was about to disappear, someone opened the door of the classroom and his face looked around until his eyes met mine.

 

I do not greet him as I always do, anger and a feeling of betrayal would not let me.

 

\- Ya-ho!  -I saw him smile and I frowned- I'm sorry to be late, I had to clean the classroom today.

 

-I see.

 

-Hmm? -He noticed my frown, but did not say anything- Ah! Let's continue yesterday's exercises.

 

-I’ve done them already. -I answered, extending the book-

 

-Oh... wow! I'll check it right away.

 

Jeongin took the book in his hands and began to review the exercises. I did not plan to be this cold with him, but the truth was that I did not even want to see him, my anger increased a little more when he showed me his silly smile.

 

How could he smile at me when I felt so betrayed? I asked myself as I watched the sun hide behind a mountain little by little, at times like this I wished I could escape from this filthy town.

 

-H-Hey, today you don’t look very happy. -I heard him say and my frown frowned again-

 

-This is how I normally look. -I answered standing up and starting to walk-

 

-I see... -he said after a nervous laugh-

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

On the way home, Jeongin was just a few steps ahead of me. The sun still did not finish hiding, but the bulbs of the streets already were ignited. His walk was strange, thoughtful and we had both been silent since we left my classroom.

 

-Hey, Hyunjin... -I heard him mention my name- Is something bothering you? -he asked seconds later-

 

-...No, not really. -Of course I was upset-

 

Did it take you so much to realize? As Jeongin could be so smart, but so blind sometimes.

 

-If I did something that bothers you, let me know, okay? I can be very dense sometimes...

 

I saw him turn to give me another of his silly smiles and I exploded. All the anger inside me went off.

 

-Why? - I asked clenching my fists, controlling myself so as not to hurt him-

 

-Eh? -I saw his silly expression again and walked until I held him by the collar of his shirt-

 

-Why do you care if something bothers me? - I yelled, shaking him - I was being mean to you! Why are you worried about someone like me? -I asked now seeing the expression of panic on his face- If you have time to deal with me, why don’t you go with your girlfriend?

 

I finally released the knot in my throat.

 

-Eh?... You were listenign to our conversation this morning? -He asked with that silly tone again-

 

I stopped and let go, he already knew my answer so I stayed silent.

 

-Ahh... Is that why you were angry? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep it from you...

 

\- Why did you fall in love with someone else? -I asked finally letting my feelings out-

 

-Huh...? -he looked at me doubtfully-

 

-I'm the one who has been looking at you more than anyone else!

 

I screamed and then ran away, like a coward who had just confessed his feelings.


	2. Distance Of Feelings.

 

**~2~**

 

 

-Don't be afraid, honey. You'll be fine.

 

 

I heard my mother's voice telling me while I was hiding behind her long white dress, today it was her wedding with my father. We had just moved to a small town from the United States to Korea and I was just a scared kid who did not like to be in contact with anyone else, I just wanted to go home with my parents.

 

 

-But mom...

 

 

I shrieked, taking her dress harder and in front of us stood a woman in a little pink dress next to a child much smaller than me. He looked at me with a smile, showing me his missing tooth.

 

 

-They are good friends of mom and daddy. -My mother said, pulling me away from her dress- Here, introduce yourself.

 

 

She looked at the other woman with a smile and she responded in the same way. I felt intimidated when the woman in the pink dress looked at me and I hid again behind my mother. I did not like being under the gaze of other people.

 

 

-... I'm scared... -I answered seeing my mother, and she pushed me to take a step forward-

 

 

The boy in front of me also separated from his mother and approached stretching his hand.

 

 

-Hello! I'm Yang Jeongin. What's your name?

 

 

He stretched out his hand waiting for me to take it and give it a squeeze. I had seen my father do that before with his friends so I looked at my mother for the last time getting only a nod from her.

 

 

-H-Hyunjin... -I said, sounding like a fool- Hwang Hyunjin...

 

 

I stretched out my hand in the same way that the child in front of me did it and before I even could be able to shake hands, his hand approached first and took mine with strength.

 

 

-I'm happy to meet you, Hyunjin. Can we be best friends like ours daddys?

 

 

At that moment, I saw a smile forming on his face and my cheeks unconsciously turned red.

 

 

I only nod. That was the day I fell for Yang Jeongin.

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

A dream?

 

 

 

I woke up in my empty room. The wooden ceiling did not stop sounding because of the strong storm that was falling on the outside and that was perfect to represent the sadness that existed inside me.

 

 

"Jeongin..." I murmured holding my wallet.

 

 

Only a few hours had passed since I confessed all those feelings I had inside me. The weight I carried for so long was no longer on my shoulders, but now I was replacing it with a different load.

 

 

The sadness of his rejection.

 

 

"I like you more than anyone else... Jeongin... I want you to be my boyfriend" I was a fool, I shouted what I felt and then I escaped like an embarrassed teenager.

 

 

Even that girl had accepted your rejection better than me.

 

 

I took my wallet and there it was again, your picture. Your eyes looked like those of a little desert fox as you posed in front of the lake for the photo.

 

 

"Jeongin... Jeongin..." I began to kiss his photo between my hands; this was the only way I could ever do it.

 

 

My body began to warm up and inevitably that woke up.

 

 

I took it with my hand and began to shake it while imagining its body, its hands touching it; my hands on him. I wanted to touch every part of him and make it mine. Show him how much he wanted and loved him.

 

 

I did not want to arrive so fast but my mind did not stop showing me erotic scenes of Jeongin next to me. I tried to go slower but I could almost feel it, I could not take much.

 

 

I do not know how much my mind had begun to imagine those erotic scenarios with Jeongin but they were getting worse.

 

 

I was not sure if this was because of the loneliness of my room or the sexual frustration I had, but when I imagined my lips on his neck, my hands on his ass and his voice saying my name as I slowly entered inside him... My body just wanted to steal the innocence of his smile...

 

 

Inevitably the end came and when I felt my body increase the tension, everything was released on my abdomen...

 

 

"What am I doing?" I asked myself seeing the picture in my hands; I had just masturbated with only a picture of my childhood friend...

 

 

I had already become a pervert...

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

My body felt heavy, I did not feel like going to school but I was already halfway there. The sun shone on the mountains more beautiful than ever, but the sadness in my heart did not let me appreciate it correctly

 

 

"How should I approach him today? It's so uncomfortable!" I screamed, then looked at the rice fields around me. Everything was totally alone and in the distance you could only see some kids coming down the mountain to go to school.

 

 

Perfect, I was alone.

 

 

"Maybe he does not even want to see me... What should I do...?" I asked a little irritated while considering the idea of going back home to hide for the rest of my life.

 

 

Prefect again, now he was talking to himself.

 

 

-Skipping the practice of the morning again, Mr. Ace? -I heard his voice behind me and I jumped in surprise. The road was supposed to be lonely- Good morning, Hyunjin...

 

 

I heard him say as he passed by me and I was speechless, he was smiling at me again.

 

 

"Where was him? Was he... waiting for me?" I wiped that silly idea from my mind when I saw him stopped a few steps in front of me.

 

 

-Are you coming? -He asked and I started walking-

 

 

-Ah! G-Good morning, Jeongin, -I stammered and he gave me another of his smiles-

 

 

\- Don't you have practice at the club today? -He asked looking at me with another of his smiles and I blushed, the night before came to my mind-

 

 

-N-no, there was a change of schedule. -I answered nervous, feeling like my hands were sweating-

 

 

-I see... that makes today a day for study! -Jeongin put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me with a smile- Do not forget to stay after the classes finish.

 

 

-O-Ok... it's fine.

 

 

-Then, I see you at the end of the day. I have to go fast for council things. -Jeongin smiled at me as always and ran away-

 

 

I was petrified for a second analyzing his words. He had just asked me to stay after school and  really hoped that would mean something.

 

 

Finally I would get an answer.

 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

 

The sunset clouds were adorned with a beautiful orange when I was still in the classroom doing my last duties of the day. Carefully I took off the look of the notebook and he was there, concentrating on reading his little hand book while waiting for me to finish.

 

 

This scene seemed very familiar to me.

 

 

Summer was coming at any moment and I had not remembered it until the results of our exams arrived. Jeongin was still acting as if I had never shouted my feelings in a fit of jealousy, and that had me wrong. A part of me was grateful for the opportunity to be by his side but another part was waiting for an answer. I wanted to hear him reject me directly if that was the case.

 

 

-It is very hot lately! -Suddenly, Jeongin complained, closing the book in front of him angrily-

 

 

 

-It's almost summer. -I thought his behavior was strange but I did not say anything-

 

 

 

\- Do you want to go somewhere during the summer holidays? -He asked smiling-

 

 

 

-Oh, I have not thought about that. -I answered with sincerity- Lately, I spend my time studying or practicing basketball.

 

 

 

-Ah~~ Working hard, right? -Jeongin said, leaning over the table in my seat- So, how did you do in the tests?

 

 

 

-I got... the best grades. -I answered, taking my ballot and then handing it to him-

 

 

 

-Wow! -He exclaimed with excitement as he jumped with my results- Congratulations!

 

 

 

-Well, all the questions were from that chapter that you indicated to me. -I said while scratching my neck embarrassed by his reaction- It was all thanks to you...

 

 

 

-Don't doubt your own efforts. -He said, taking a seat again- You should reward yourself for the hard work.

 

 

 

I heard him say and an idea came to my head. It was now or never, so I sighed deeply.

 

 

 

-In that case... Could you give me your answer? -I asked nervously-

 

 

 

I did not have the courage to look him in the eye.

 

 

 

-Eh...? -He asked with that silly tone and some anger awoke in me-

 

 

 

-I want a clear answer, Jeongin. Even if it's a no. -I said with a strong tone, taking the courage to look straight into his eyes-

 

 

 

Jeongin was silent for a few seconds and then he looked at me.

 

 

 

-... I guess I should not run away from this... I'm sorry for making you wait. -Jeongin hid his face in his hands and then looked at the ceiling before looking at me- Then... Tell me Hyunjin ... Did you really like me?

 

 

 

-Of course! -I answered without a doubt in my voice, my feelings were clear-

 

 

 

-Although I'm a boy?

 

 

 

Jeongin took my hands and wrapped them in his.

 

 

 

-I'm very aware of that.

 

 

 

His gaze drifted in the evening and then back to me.

 

 

 

-You are not afraid? Everyone could judge you for that and you're the Ace of the basketball team.

 

 

 

-I do not care...- I answered without fear- As long as I can still be with you...

 

 

 

-... You really are hard, right?... -Jeongin let go of my hands and crossed his arms- I'm jealous! And if I tell you that I already have someone else?

 

 

 

I was speechless and said the first thing that came to my mind.

 

 

 

-... I know you already have someone you like but I really... I think... that I am...

 

 

 

I could not finish saying anything, Jeongin began to laugh wildly and a disappointment grew inside me.

 

 

 

-Remove that look of tragedy Hyunjin... -Jeongin I take my hands again and I was surprised- I'm just punishing you for listening to the conversations of others...

 

 

 

-Huh? Punish? -I did not understand what was happening-

 

 

 

-I do not have anyone, but I think I just found someone at this time.

 

 

 

-That means...! -I yelled surprised-

 

 

 

-I also like you, Hyunjin.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, I hope u like :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks :D


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